Marriage… Without children! How long has it been since the two of you have lived alone? For some of you, it may be never. That was the case for me and my husband. Our daughter, Cindy, was from my previous marriage and we came as a package deal! So when our son, David, left home it was the first time we had ever been alone together. It took some getting used to but once we figured it out it was, and still is, amazing!
At first, it was very mind-numbing and monotonous. We didn’t have ball practice, track, or the other running around involving our children to keep us busy. We would come home from work, eat dinner, watch some TV, and then off to bed. The weekends were about the same except we didn’t even have work to break up the day. Eventually, we started doing things together. We took long drives to nowhere imparticular, went out to dinner on weeknights, and other things like that. I don’t think there was any one defining moment that made it happen, it was more of a gradual process.
Slowly the realization hit us that we only had ourselves to entertain. I think that is when things really started to get good. We discovered us! Instead of holding our children’s hands in the store we held each other’s hands. We sat next to each other in restaurants instead of having children in between us. We started looking at each other different. For the longest time, Phillip was daddy and I was mommy because that is how we referred to each other when we talked to the children. Now we were Phillip and Debbie! Sometimes even Babes and Babydoll!
Marriage Began to be About Us
The romance began to blossom. I looked forward to coming home and spending the evening with my love. Sometimes just a lazy evening watching TV and sometimes we would go out and do things but we always did it together. Our marriage became our number one priority.
One thing we were still having trouble getting back was our sex life. It fell by the wayside somewhere between having a baby and taking care of them as they grew. There were always little eyes and ears around the house. I actually can determine the defining moment for this though. A couple of my friends at work were talking about a book called Shades of Grey. I know you all have at least heard of it if not read it. I decided to read it because I was curious and I don’t know why, but it opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say things got hot around my house. If you haven’t read this book then do your marriage a favor and get a copy. Neither of you will be disappointed!
These days we have settled into our new lives wonderfully. We are loving and living the dream! There was definitely an adjustment period that I am sure you will go through too, but it gets better. Take some time to discover who you are married to. Let your marriage come first in your lives. Treat each other like you did when you first met and you will be amazed how different you feel towards each other. These are the golden years you have always heard about but never imagined were real!